New Speak

Original Word or Phrase	Politically Correct Word or Phrase
Abortion	Emergency Contraception
Accomplice	Co-Conspirator
Alimony	Spousal Support
Apartments	Community Rentals
Arson	Reckless Burning
Bad	Less Than Perfect
Balloons	Inflatables
Bartender	Mixologist
Bellboy	Bellman
Bird Watcher	Birder
Black	African American
Bleeding to Death	Bleeding Out
Blind	Visually Impaired
Bomb	Implemented Explosive Device
Bombardier	Offensive Systems Officer
Broken Home	Dysfunctional Family
Bum - Hobo	Homeless Person
Butcher	Meat Cutter
Burglary	Home Invasion
Casket	Personal Burial Vault
Cattle	Beef Animals
Church	Worship Center
City	Urban Environment
Civil War	War Between the States
Civilian	Non-Combatant
Committee	Task Force
Concussion	Blunt Force Trauma
Congressman	Congress Person
Conservative	Right Wing Extremist
Craftsmen	Crafts People
Crazy	Psychotic Disorder
Creation	Intelligent Design
Crevice	Crevasse
Crippled	Disabled
Cuisine	Culinary Arts
Curtains - Drapes	Window Treatments
Dead End	No Outlet
Deaf	Hearing Impaired
Deliver (a baby)	Birth (a baby)
Diary	Journal
Died	Passed Away
Disease	Disorder
Do Not Disturb	Privacy Please
Doctor	Prescriber
Dog Catcher	Animal Control Officer
Doll	Action Figure
Drowsiness	Sleep Inertia
Drummer	Percussionist
Easter Eggs	Spring Spheres
Emergency Room	Trauma Center
Employee	Worker
Fire Department	Division of Fire
Fireman	Firefighter
Fireworks	Pyrotechnics
Flooding	Ponding of Water
Foot-Pounds (torque)	Pound-Feet
Forecast	Future View
Forest Fires	Wildfires
Free	You Just Pay the Shipping
Garbageman	Sanitation Worker
Girlfriend	Partner
Global Warming	Climate Change
Goalie	Goal Tender
Grocery Store	Food Store
Gun	Automatic Weapon
Gun Collection	Personal Arsenal
Hairdresser	Licensed Cosmetologist
Half Mast	Half Staff
Handicapped	Disabled
Handicapped	Physically Challenged
Harass	Harris
Harmonica	Mouth Organ
Hatchback (car)	Five-Door
Helicopter	Air Ship
Hero	Anyone
Hit and Run (accident)	Hit Skip
Homosexual - Queer	Gay
Housewife	Domestic Engineer
Housewife	Stay-at-Home Mom
Hunter	Urban Outdoorsman
Husband - Wife	Soul Mate
Iced Tea	Sweet Tea
Illegal Alien	Inadmissible Alien
Illegal Alien	Unidentified Foreign National
Illegal Immigrant	Irregular Migrant
I'm Sorry	My Bad
Indian	Native American
Indigestion	Acid Reflux Disease
Initiation	Hazing
Injury	Trauma
Janitor	Maintenance Technician
Jellyfish	Sea Jellies
Jungle	Rain Forest
Junior High School	Middle School
Kidnapper	Hostage Taker
Knowledge	Awareness
Laptop	Notebook
Larceny	Unlawful Appropriation of Goods
Librarian	Library Assistant
Lie	Spin, Verbal Misstep
Life Jacket	Floatation Device
Mailman	Postal Worker - Mail Carrier
Mankind	Humankind
Masseuse	Massage Therapist
Mechanic	Automotive Technician
Microphone	Acoustical Sensor
Midget - Dwarf	Little Person
Mood Swings	Bipolar Disorder
Mute	Non-Verbal
Night	Pre-Dawn Hours
Nightmares	Night Terrors
Oriental	Asian
Pain	Discomfort
Paramedics	First Responders
Parental Correction	Time Out
Parole	Ex-offender Re-entry
Passenger	Terminal Commuter
Pay (money owed)	Retire the Debt
People	Humans
People	Persons
Performer	Presenter
Ping-Pong	Table Tennis
Pistol	Handgun
Plastic	Composite Material - Carbon Fiber
Police Department	Division of Police
Police Department	Safety Center
Policeman	Law Enforcement Officer
Poor	Economically Marginalized
P.O.W.	Enemy Combatant
Prison	Correctional Facility
Prison Guard	Correctional Officer
Prisoner	Detainee
Prostitution	Human Trafficking
Recession	Economic Downturn
Rerun	Encore Presentation
Rerun	Previously Recorded
Restaurant	Eatery
Retarded	Mentally Challenged
Rifle	Assault Weapon
Right	Privilege
Riot	Flash Mob
Roads	Surface Streets
Robe	House Coat
Roommate	Suitemate
Running Away	Felony Evading
Runs Batted In (RBI - Baseball)	Runs Driven In (RDI)
Salesman	Retail Associate
School	Community Learning Center
School Closing (weather)	Calamity Day
Sedated	Medically Induced Coma
Serve (food)	Plate it Up
Shed	Outbuilding
Shoes	Footwear
Shoulder (road)	Clear Recovery Area
Shovel	Entrenchment Tool
Shyness	Selective Mutism
Siamese Twins	Conjoined Twins
Sinking	Taking on Water
Slave Trader	Human Trafficker
Slingshot	Wrist Rocket
Sniper	Sharpshooter
Snitch	Confidential Informant
Snow Flurries	Snow Showers
Soap	Body Wash
Spokesman	Spokes Person
Spouse	Life Partner
Spring	Resistance Coil
Stabbing	Sharp-Force Injury
Starfish	Sea Stars
Station Wagon	Crossover
Stewardess	Flight Attendant
Store Security Guard	Loss Prevention Technician
Stove	Cooktop
Strip Mining	Surface Mining
Stripper	Exotic Dancer
Stroke	Brain Attack
Submarine	Submersible
Sun Roof	Moon Roof
Suspect	Person of Interest
Suspended (police officer)	Paid Vacation
Teacher	Educator
Teenager	Pre-Adult
Terrorism	Violent Extremism
Terrorist	Insurgent
Thief - Robber	Gunman
Thumbtack	Pushpin
Tidal Wave	Tsunami
Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers	Tomb of the Unknowns
Tradesmen	Trades People
Traffic Accident	Aggravated Vehicular Homicide
Traffic Circle	Roundabout
Trailer Park	Mobile Home Community
Transvestite	Transgender
Travel Agent	Leisure Travel Consultant
Truck	Motor Carrier
Truck	SUV
Used	Pre-Owned
Vacation	Road Trip
Vacuum	Pressure Differential
Vandalism	Criminal Damaging
Waiter - Waitress	Server
War	Military Conflict
Woman	Person
You're Welcome	Thank You
Zookeeper	Animal Handler

Thanks and a tip of the hat to "Grizzly: http://home.roadrunner.com/~grizzly/correct.html