Monday, August 04, 2008

I'm voting Democratic this year

Sorry if anyone is disappointed in my decision but I have decided to vote Democrat this year.

Here are some of the reasons I found it compelling.

I'm voting Democrat because:
I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money
I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because:
Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat because:
When we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what
they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because:
I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN
tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't
start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because:
I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for
themselves. They need to break even and give the rest to the
government for redistribution as the "Democrats" see fit.

I'm voting Democrat because:
I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to
rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe
kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because:
I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want.
I've decided to marry my horse.

I'm voting Democrat because:
I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene
but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% is perfectly fine.

Maybe after the shock therapy I'll be feeling better.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please keep it clean on topic.
If you are trying to send ACR a message use email instead: